When I woke up, I was already in a bad mood (a good sign that I’m nervous)… the plan for today was:
– 8:30 AM: cycle to the animal shelter and take a look around, take a dog for a walk or just see where it is
– 2:00 PM: go to the meeting for new arrivals in our village
– 6:00 PM: go to the Grizzli’s match vs. Biel (American Football)
OK, I got myself motivated for point 1 (just take one step after another), I had breakfast and was ready to go at 8:15 AM, I went into the basement to look after my bike. I knew it had a flat tyre, so I already included some time to pump it up. But after pumping fresh air into the tube, I could already hear the air streaming out again.
So there was no way around changing the tube. Everything went smoothly and after 10 mins, I had the tube changed and the tyre back on the bike but now the brakes were making noises. The brakeshoes were touching the brake disc…. I tried to put them back but not a chance… so I already gave up point one… because with taking the tyre out again, adjusting the brake (however you do that without causing more damage), cycling forth and back, introduction, walk the dog, take a shower, have lunch,… I would never made it in time for point two.
It was not even 9 AM when my day was already over (motivation wise). Since then I’m sitting on the couch, downloading some more books for the journey and telling myself what a completely useless creature I am.
So, I didn’t go shopping for groceries (which is certainly necessary), I didn’t clean the flat or the hallway (it’s my turn this week), I’m just sitting here brooding and torturing myself. I wish I had just taken the flight to Vancouver. By now I would be sitting on the beach, go surfing or meet other crazy minded people.
But nooooooooooooo, I had to take Christoph’s advice again which says: if you have the choice between something you’ve already done and something you’ve never done, always choose the “new-option”.
I did it – again (after my 24 hr-trip to Alaska and my flight to Nova Scotia which were doubtlessly good things) – and now I have to wait for almost another week (the departure was postponed by two days) until I can go aboard… then I’m the probably only female human being on the vessel – with nothing to do but brooding about anything and nothing and upsetting the crew….
Oh happy day…. I know I’m really good at demotivating myself, painting everything black… I also know it’s only a phase and as soon as I’m aboard, everything will be alright but what am I gonna do until then????
Right now my neigbour is shouting at her kids which is certainly entertaining and compensating a bit of the beautiful weather outside (good weather sometimes has a depressing effect on me, don’t know why….).
I guess, I have to find something for lunch, before I’m off for the “new arrivals” meeting… let’s see what can go wrong there…. pls. notice: I’m such an optimist ;-)))
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